


There's A Lot Of Ways To Love

by Puregold



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Bad Parenting, Ch. 6 has allusions to an abusive relationship discussed, Drama & Romance, F/F, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Its kinda a reaccuring thing in the voxman arc tbh, Light Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Slice of Life, Teenage Drama, Trans Male Character, Trans Professor Venomous, Trans Radicles, Transphobia, parenting, theres not much rednid unfortunately
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-03-19 11:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13703661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puregold/pseuds/Puregold
Summary: Raymond is confused and thinks that loving a hero is wrong.Radicles is confused and thinks that loving a man is wrong.Lord Boxman doesn't know how to parent correctly.Professor Venomous doesn't know how to show his emotions.The only ones who have it (mostly) together here are the lesbians.





	1. Is This Allowed?

**Author's Note:**

> Just a slice-of-life type story of some ideas and stuff that I'd like to explore with these characters & relationships!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radicles tries to figure out if it's okay to be friends with a work rival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my headcanon, or in this story, I guess, being a "hero" vs being a "villain" is a career thats kind of entertainment-based. Most teenagers and/or young adults are considered heroes or villains in training, so it's a bit less "taboo" for them to hang out and be friends.
> 
> As for adults, being a hero vs a villain is considered to be a profession. In this story, Mr. Gar and Carol's jobs are considered to be "hero-aligned" (as well as ex-heroes). So while theyre considered heroes, theyre more side heros than "professional" heroes. (Professional heroes would be like members of P.O.I.N.T.)
> 
> Same thing with villains. Lord Boxman is considered "villain-aligned" (since he makes weapons and such for villains rather than being a villain himself; attacking teenage heroes at a plaza on the daily doesnt count lol) while Professor Venomous is considered a professional villain.
> 
> The laws in this universe also work differently according to your status as a villain or a hero. The laws are very flexible, so long as villains and heroes arent seriously hurting each other or anybody else. Property damage is all payed for by the government.

I really wanna bro out with Raymond, I think. I don't know why, because even though he's a villain, he just seems so cool! He's really athletic, (which is awesome), and he's also really smart and funny and pretty. Handsome! I mean- uh- guys can compliment guys and it not be gay.

It kinda reminds me of that time I had a crush on Shannon (which was different, _obviously_.) That only lasted, like, a day, and it was mainly cause she was interested in me first. But with Raymond, its like, the more time I spend with him (or fighting him, I guess) the more I like him. In a totally platonic way!

Whatever. It was only a distant fantasy, a pipe dream, until today. I was at Kitty Korner, buying some things for Princess Nubnubs the 3rd (don't judge!) When I noticed Raymond there as well. He wasnt doing anything evil, but that doesnt mean I wasnt suspicious! So, yeah, I may or may not have followed him around the store, making sure he doesn't shoplift or something, when he spotted me.

Although, spotted isnt really the right term. I was peering around the corner of an aisle and saw him pick up one of the kittens that they have for sale in the play-pin area.

He started petting it, when he said, without even looking up, "Would you like to join me in petting this soft, silky fur, Radicles?"

Needless to say, I was shook. I stepped out from around the corner and huffed. "...No. Whatever. Cats are lame."

"Really? Then who are those for?" Asked Raymond, looking over his shoulder at me and pointing to my basket filled with kitty care items and gourmet pet food.

Caught red-handed, I blushed and muttered. "None of your business... Why? What are _you_ doing here?"

He laughed, genuine and soft, and said, "I have a life outside of Boxmore, you know." He then did an awkward kind of side-eye and tacked on, "Kind of. Anyway, I love cats. I just like to come down here and pet them sometimes. Fantasize about having my own."

Now's my chance! I can totally ask him to hang out outside of an awkward work-rivalry environment! I do hesitate, though. Only a small, tiny, _miniscule_ amount of people know about my more... Sensitive side. Then again, Raymond already knows I own a cat at this point, so... "If you promise not to bring it up at work, I can, uh... You can come over sometime and visit my cats, if you want."

His eyes light up at the request, and it awakens something akin to butterflies in my stomach. "Really? Oh, that'd be wonderful! Of course! You have my word."

We then exchanged contact information and chatted a bit more before going our seperate ways. I gotta say, that whole thing was really kind of... Impulsive of me to do. I mean, it's not like it's unheard of for villains and heroes to be friends, just kind of taboo. But _rivals?_ Practically unheard of. I mean, It's not illegal, but fireable? ...Depends how chill your boss is. And Mr. Gar and Lord Boxman have been rivals since before the _plaza_ even got built.

Hm. This seems like... An Enid question. Once I get home, I unload my care items for Princess Nubnubs, Sapphire, and Sweetpea. I then snuggle with my wittle angels for a few minutes, relishing in their cute little purrs and meows before texting Enid.

_"Ok. So. Lets say, theoretically, I were to hang out w/ a villain outside of work. Would that be... A fireable offense?"_

_"Probs not. Mr Gar is rly chill abt that sort of thing."_

_"Sweet. Now what if.... it was som1 from Boxmore?"_

_"Plz dont tell me u have the hots 4 Shannon again. Bad Rad!"_

_"Naw im over her dude. And this is all theoretical! So? Wud that get me canned?"_

Speaking of cans, I have a perfectly unopened can of tuna for my little angels here. I put my phone down and get up, opening the can and dividing the tuna evenly between the three bowls, cooing at and petting the little babies. When I pick my phone back up, Enid's replied.

_"I mean, you'd have 2 b pretty careful abt it. It couldnt affect work, obvs. Why? Who is it?"_

_"No 1 its all theoretical._

_"Bullshit! Dude you never ask "theoretical" questions unless its sum dumbass shit like "lol what would happen if I made and ate an egg smoothie?""_

_"Well ~maybe~ its none a yr business! Anyways, gotta go. See u tomorrow."_

I say, leaving the conversation at that. I sigh, closing the blinds and flopping back on my bed to be engulfed in a pile of kittens. God. I _really_ hope this doesnt get out of hand.


	2. This Is Bad

I don't understand why I'm in love with Radicles.

I mean, it just makes no sense! Shannon was struck by lightning, which caused her mainframe to go haywire, but _me?_ I wasn't struck by lightning or anything! I can't even count the number of times I've self-destructed in an attempt to make these feelings go away. When that didn't work, I hacked into my own mainframe and took a look at the deepest files possible, and have found no "virus" or anything that would make this go away! Which leaves only one, truly horrifying possibility: My brain.

You see, when Coach Boxdad made us all, or I guess when he made Ernesto, Shannon, Darrell, and Jethro, he decided to start growing their organic brains in robot bodies, rather than in a stationary vat, as he does now for all of our replacement bodies. By growing their brains in this way, he was able to shape them into the people he wanted them to be from an early age, effectively snubbing out any lovey-dovey or rebellious feelings they could have. However, with me, he grew my brain in a vat and then directly transferred it to a robot body when it was "ready", in its late teens rather than raising me. Therefore, I have no childhood memories, as well as the _potential_ to fall in _love_ with a _hero_.

I can't believe I accepted Radicles invitation to come see his cats. I'm finished! It's just- well- cats are just _so_ darn cute and it's not like Coach Boxdad would let us have any- except for Mikayla- and I just couldn't resist. He also, I mean... Well, staring into his gorgeous green eyes and watching him blush like that, gripping onto that case full of kitty care items with his big, strong arms... Gosh, am I drooling?

Of course, it's not loving a man that's got me so riled up. Coach Boxdad is definitely gay and I knew I was gay the second I was introduced to the world. It's loving _him_. He's a hero, but not only that- an _employee of the plaza!!!_ And not just that, _an employee of Mr. Gar himself!!!!_. Boxdad and Gar's rivalry is long-standing now and, well, if I let myself give in to these feelings I'm _guaranteed_ to be discontinued and sold for scraps!

Maybe a _"hang sesh"_ with Radicles will be good, after all. It might make me realize just how much of a jackass he really is so I can get back to hating him already.

Of course, I don't _tell_ anybody that I'm going to hang out with Radicles tonight. I slipped out sometime before Professor Venomous came over, taking the bus and following his directions to the trailer park.

When I ring the doorbell, I'm sure to be cautious, taking a quick glance around me as I wait. This neighborhood is predominantly hero, and I don't exactly want to get _jumped._ I'm waiting for a couple more minutes, long enough to begin thinking I've been stood up when he opens the door and lets out an apologetic laugh. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I, uh, kinda forgot you were coming over..."

Oh, Dear Gods, he's hot. He either just took a shower or was just working out because he's panting a bit, sweat sliding down his _fucking perfectly sculpted figure_ as he stands there and waits for me to come in.

"Oh! It's not problem- not a problem." I reply, smiling awkwardly as I walk inside his house. I'm instantly greeted with mewling coming down the hall, three little kittens padding up to my feet in curiosity.

I almost explode of the adorableness, stepping around them as I make my way to go sit on the living room couch.

"That's Princess Nubnubs," He says, pointing to the round orange tabby cat. "That's Sapphire," He points to the Russian blue, "And that's Sweetpea." He finishes off, pointing to the white Ragdoll. "They're all really friendly!"

I laugh, allowing them to clamber on me and purr, pawing at my metallic body.

"Do you mind if I take, like, a 5 minute shower? I don't want you to have to smell all this body odor stank the whole time your over." He laughs, gentle and easy.

"Oh, yeah, go ahead! But, I don't really have smell receptors, so it's not a big deal anyway."

"You mean _nostrils?"_ He asks, eyebrow cocked.

"Whatever."

He laughs again, before heading off to the bathroom and shutting the door, and I'm left alone in his living room with his cats.

Oh, fuck. I thought that hanging out with him would remind me how terrible he actually is, but _I was wrong_. Instead, it's just making me crush harder! Especially since he opened the door half-naked, wearing some kind of sports bra for some reason. And now he's only a few feet away... In the shower... Naked...

 _Raymond you are petting three adorable kittens stop thinking dirty thoughts!!_ I take a deep breath, regaining some composure as Princess Nubnubs bites at my fingers. His cats really _are_ adorable, and from what I can tell, spoiled as hell. I glance around the living room, eyes scanning over a vast array of family pictures. Based on other certain... _alien_ decorum, I gather that his parents are rather odd, and very proud of their culture and heritage, yet they're also very caring.

I'm not allowed to dwell too much longer, seeing as how Radicles is quick to finish his shower. Once out and dressed, he joins me on the couch. Though he does keep his distance, careful not to sit on any of his precious kittens.

"Sorry to, uh, keep you waiting..." He says, a little awkward, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh! Are you hungry? I can get you some snacks- My mom made some before checking out, uh-"

"No, I'm not all that hungry. We, uh- Robots, that is- Sustain ourselves in other ways. Thank you for asking, though!" I reply. It seems odd to me that his demeanor almost entirely changed from usual. Like he's let some of his facade fade, or that because we're not fighting each other over Mr. Gar's he's being more friendly.

"Hah. I knew that!" He says, sounding like he really didn't. "I meant robot snacks. Obviously."

I snicker at the mention of _'robot snacks',_ while Radicles turns on some sort of console, grabbing a couple remotes tucked in corners of the couch.

"How good are you at Mario Kart?" He asks nonchalantly.

"What's that?"

"You don't know what Mario Kart is!?" He seems shocked, bewildered, even, staring at me with a look between anger and confusion.

"No. Is it a video game? Dad doesn't really... Allow video games in the facility that aren't made by him."

He laughs, before adding. "I bet his games suck." He must note the way I get tense and defensive, preparing to argue, before he tacks on, "Sorry."

Radicles? Apologizing? It's more likely than I thought apparently. I'm taken a bit aback, before stuttering. "Uh... How do I play?"

"It's easy. When we're on a select screen, like here, you point the remote at the TV and hit the "A" button to click stuff. If you change your mind or click somethin by accident, just press the B button on the back." He says, his hand hovering over mine, before he hesitates and flips his own remote over to show me.

"Then when we're playing, you hold it sideways. 2 is to use an item, 1 is to break, and the arrows control where you go."

 _Seems simple enough,_ I think. I was wrong. He chose some kind of ridiculous track on a rainbow in space, causing me to fall off nearly every corner and edge that there was to turn. Of course, he won that round with ease, and I scoffed.

"Alright, _I_ get to choose round 2."

He laughs. "Okay then, hot stuff. Hot- Haughty. Haughty stuff." He corrects, a blush quick to rise in his cheeks.

I blush as well, letting a little steam out from my facial sensory glands before selecting a track that seems easier to navigate. Again, _I was wrong._ While easier than the rainbow one, almost all the tracks have many sharp turns or tricks to throw the player off its tracks. Still trying my damnedest, I'm only able to beat out the CPUs and get second place- next to Rad.

"Alright, you've proved your prowess at this game." I declare. "Now let's play one of _mine_ "

"I didn't realize you brought daddy's toys with you." He bites back, smirking playfully.

I manage to keep my blush on the back burner as I plug myself in to his TV. "Don't need to. _I'm a robot,_ remember?"

"Promise you won't, like, hack into the mainframe or whatever and cheat?"

"Of course not, darling~" I reply, before transforming my hands into controllers and giving Radicles my left hand.

There's no hesitation this time, he takes my hand immediately and sits back to play. That is, of course, since to him it's in the shape of a practical and useful controller, whereas for me, _he's actually cradling my hand, holy fuck._ I try to keep those thoughts down to a simmer, booting up a fighting game.

"In this one you can actually play as yourself, see?" I say, gesturing to the screen.

"Why is my name 'Bad?'" He asks with a slight giggle.

"It's all by father's design!" I reply, smiling. "Enid is Rude Teen, and K.O. is Little Pest. He's not incredibly original but it works."

We get to playing, and of course I absolutely _destroy_ him, since not only is this my game but any of the hero characters are designed to fail by default (of course I didn't tell _him_ that). After a few rounds, he finally catches on and decide to switch characters, playing as _me_.

"There can't be _two_ Raymonds!" I object.

"I know, imagine the horror." Replies Radicles with a smile.

"Yes, only one me is quite the star already, hm?" I reply, jabbing back. "But I'm serious! How will we tell who's who?"

"It's your game. Can't you just change the colors?"

"Dad would have my head if I did." I reply. He seems to think I'm joking, but I'm really not.

He laughs. "Why don't you just change them back afterwards?"

I sigh heavily. It's really not that big of a deal, what he's asking, it's just that I'm dramatic and whiny. "Fine. God, you're so much work." I complain, lazily swapping Radicles' version of me to blue before starting to play a few rounds.

He's actually quite good when he's not playing as someone who's designed to fail, and we're almost an even match. I get nervous that he'll beat me at my own game, so I mayyybbeeee do a _tiiinnyy_ bit of cheating. What!? We're still rivals, after all!

About an hour passes, us switching between games and spoiling the hell out of Radicles's adorable little kittens. I end up cutting things off about then, checking the time and standing. "I better go before dad gets suspicious. Later, Rad."

"Yeah, catcha later." He quickly rises as well, throwing out, "Hey, by the way, there's a game this Friday. For my school, anyway. Our school. Do you go to Lakewood High?"

"No." My reply is almost instant. "I don't go to school. None of us do. You _could_ say we're home schooled, but, uh..."

"Oh." He replies, a bit taken aback. "Well, uh... You can totally come with me to Lakewood at 6. If you're free, that is."

"Uh, m-maybe..." I say, trying not to blush at the invitation. "I'll see if I can meet you there. Later!"

"Bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Radicles the entire time he's trying to teach Raymond how to play a game: "It's not gay, is it??? Right????"
> 
> I'm not saying that Darrell, Shannon, Ernesto or Jethro are incapable of love- I'm just saying that Boxman kind of "brainwashed" them from an early age to retain their loyalty and stuff like that, which is why Raymond, since he was not "made" as a baby, is able to feel these feelings more easily since he did not have them snubbed out when he was young.


	3. First Dates Are Always Nerve-Wracking

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for my meeting later today with Professor Venomous. Well, you could call it less a meeting and more a _date_ , according to him anyways. He asked me shortly after Billiam Milliam's yacht party, if we could get together in a "less professional setting". With my aversion to _friendship-like_ endeavors, I was a tad suspicious at first. But after we confirmed plans he sealed the deal with; "Great. It's a date." Therefore confirming my, albeit hopeful and fanciful theory that Professor Venomous has feelings for me!

Of course, even though he said it'd be a much _less professional_ environment, I still want to look my best! So I get dressed up, enlisting Ernesto's help to put together a flattering outfit. After all, we had booked seats at a very high-class restaurant. Not that either of us have any trouble affording it! It was in the downtown area, a place with a high villain population, and was surrounded by an immaculate fountain with an intricate, gorgeous design. Of course, before I leave for the evening, I tell the children to behave and place Ernesto in charge. I also inform them that if I return with Professor Venomous, that is their cue to GET IN THEIR ROOMS AND STAY THERE!!! I mean... who know's what could happen~

Dirty thoughts aside, I grab the keys to my epic, gargantuan _BOXCAR!!!_ and hit the road. And no, I'm not talking about the vehicles that carry cargo on trains, I'm talking about my state-of-the art villains vehicle, designed by none other than _moi_. It can convert to be the size of one of those idiotic smart cars, all the way to get as huge as a monster truck!!! It also comes with all kinds of weapons in case I run into any _pesky heroes_ on a drive. Of course, when I arrive, I'm occupying the largest and gaudiest vehicle there, but no matter! These other villains just don't know how to be prepared.

Once parked, I head inside to get myself seated and await the Professor's arrival (I got here a little bit early, of course.) The moment I enter the building I'm greeted by a rather dapper-looking young gentlemen.

"Good evening. And will you be entering the Villains Derby tonight?" He asked.

I squint at him in confusion. "Well, I thought we already had seats booked! Alright, then, if you insist." I reply, taking the sign-in sheet from his hands and placing my signature below Billiam Milliams, _ugh_. He better not ruin the mood!

"Excellent. Good luck!" He says, before scampering off. _Good luck!?_ The nerve! As if I'll need it.

Shortly after my conversation with that weirdo, I'm escorted to a table next to the grand window overlooking the fountain. I shamelessly indulge in a few of those free bread-sticks while I wait. It's about ten minutes after 7, when we said we would meet, and I begin to worry that the Professor has stood me up. Wait a second, what if it's not a date after-all? What if I misread the text and he just meant "it's a date" in a friendly manner? Oh, no! Cursed, where should I hide the flowers I got him!? I'm about to chuck them out the window when I hear a voice out of the corner of my ear.

"Boxman." He greets, and I turn to smile at him. He's wearing a long-sleeved off-the-shoulders black dress that reaches the floor, and my jaw drops. He's gorgeous.

He sighs as he sits across from me. "Sorry I'm late. Getting a babysitter for Fink proved to be more difficult than I'd imagined. Her usual babysitter dropped last-second, so I had to scramble to get somebody else to cover for her."

"Oh, it's not a problem! Y'know, I could've just sent over one of my robots to take care of her for the evening! All you have to do is ask. Uh- these are for you!" I stutter, before handing him the bouquet.

He blushes and smiles. "Thank you, Boxman. I really wasn't expecting you to get me anything- I, uh, don't have anything... To give back."

"Oh, nonsense. Your presence is a gift in itself!" I reply.

"Oh, my." He says, blushing madly. "What a charmer."

The two of us continue to chat throughout dinner. He orders something delicate and lite, while I order a rich and heavy roast. He vents to me a bit about his flaky babysitter, to which I reply,

"I could've just sent Shannon or Darrell over, you know. Really! It's no problem!"

He laughs. "I appreciate the courtesy, Boxy, but I really wouldn't want to bother your kids like that. Their teens, after all. I'm sure they appreciate having the factory to themselves."

I cackle. "As if! Ernesto's making sure they're under control!"

We then return to our meal, ordering a bottle of champagne to share. We talk about his recent projects with bio-engineering these ancient chicken-lizards called Dinosaurs and how he plans to grow enough to open a theme-park museum based around them, and hopefully lure in as many heroes as he can before letting them loose!

I ask him, "Isn't there an ancient movie built around that concept?"

And he replies, "I suppose, but most have forgotten about it by now. It's not like _heroes_ care about anything important, like history, after all."

We both share a good laugh at the expense of heroes before I make a toast. "To Professor Venomous, the most classy, sophisticated, and drop-dead _gorgeous_ villain I have ever met~"

He smiles affectionately at my compliments and raises his glass. "To Lord Boxman, eccentric, funny, and the most handsome, evil villain I've ever met.

We clink our glasses and take a sip in each other's name before finishing our dinner. Afterwards, Professor Venomous checks his watch and rises.

"Great; we're a tad early. We can get good seats before the Derby starts."

"What Derby?" I inquire. "I thought that was the name of the restaurant."

"Oh! Well, yes, kind of." He explains. "This building is more of a joint establishment; dinner and a show, yknow? Villains enter to compete in a sort of brutal race, one where weapons and such are allowed and even encouraged. It can get pretty brutal if you aren't careful; but it certainly is a treat to watch."

"Sounds fun!" I reply. "Well then, we better go save seats while we can." I then take Professor Venomous's arm and escort him out of the restaurant, down the hall and off to the Derby.

It's already pretty packed, so finding seats is a bit of a struggle. We eventually settle on some seats in the center of all the chaos. Professor Venomous, of course, isn't too keen on being so tightly-packed like sardines with all the other attendees, but I on the other hand am already fairly excited. It was my first time attending this kind of thing after all. I've never even heard of it before! _(Probably nothing to do with me being considered a "joke villain". Tch!)_

The first round is all kinds of exciting. The track below starts in the stadium, of course, but then quickly veers off into the Danger Zone, encompassing all kinds of traps and monsters before circling back around into the stadium. Of course, they have flying drone-type cameras that follow the vehicles on their trek. Professor Venomous and I were both rooting for an anonymous man in a blue car, wearing a full-body outfit and helmet. Of course, he just _had_ to tease us by being SO darn good only to end up in second place.

"Curses! I wasted 10k on that _fool_." He huffs.

I laugh, perhaps a bit hysterical from all the chaotic energy. "These games are rigged, I tell you! That's why they tease us with the whole 'Promising Underdog' shtick, they just want your money!"

"Perhaps." He ponders. "I think that's part of the thrill though, don't you? No matter how good someone is - you never _really_ know who's gonna win." He gives me a sinister, flirtatious smile.

I grin back, when suddenly a booming voice comes blaring out of the speakers overhead. "The next round will involve racers Terror Titan, Bruiser, Hex Furry, The Flaming Lava, Billiam Milliam-" I cringe when I hear his name. Eugh. I certainly know who I'm betting _against!_ "Black Widow, Darkstorm, Nycto, Doctor Mysterio, and a newcomer, who's actually in the audience _right now_ instead of getting ready. Talk about cocky! Presenting, Lord Boxman!"

A bright spotlight suddenly shines down on me and those surrounding me are either taken aback with shocked gasps, cheering wildly, or booing.

Professor Venomous is pleasantly surprised, turning to me with an intrigued smile. "I didn't know this was a regular scene for you, Boxman. What a surprise!"

"Uhh, neither did I!" I reply, deeply confused and trying not to panic as I sweat profusely. I laugh. "Did they... Select me out of some kind or raffle, or?"

He laughs. "Oh, Boxy, you're such a kidder. You have to sign up in order to participate, obviously."

 _But I didn't sign u-_ Oh. Realization hits me in the face like a ton of bricks.

_"Good evening. And will you be entering the Villains Derby tonight?" The stupid, baby-faced waitor had asked me. The Villains Derby isn't the name of the restaurant, stupid, it's the name of the event!!!_

I begin laughing hysterically, before standing and starting to back away from my seat. "Well, you know me! SO unpredictable!"

He blows me a flirtatious kiss as I leave, and I'm too far in my panic to even properly appreciate it.

Once I arrive in the hallway, I'm greeted by a team of uniformed men who begin to escort me to my chambers. "First, let's go over the rules. No flying to get ahead - you may only fly if your car is knocked off the track and you need to get back where you were knocked off. You also may not cheat and get help from anyone not participating in the race. No force fields, only weaponry. No prematurely setting up traps on the track. If any part of your car makes it across the finish line first you win. You may assemble your own pit crew and use your own car. Speaking of which- where... Are they?"

"My... Car is actually in the parking lot, and my pit crew will be here shortly." I say through an overconfident, nervous smile. FUCK! You messed up big this time, Boxy! This race is potentially fatal, after all!

"Very well." Replies the escort. "Would you like me to fetch it for you?"

"Err, no. My crew will handle that." I reply. The group of men then leave me alone in the private room to prep, and I immediately dial the Boxmore Factory's number.

"Yes, daddy?" Asks Darrell, innocent and stupid.

"DARRELL!" I shout. "GET ERNESTO, SHANNON, AND RAYMOND AND TELL THEM TO FLY THEIR BUTTS OVER HERE AT ONCE!! AND FETCH MY OLD DRIVING UNIFORM- THE ONE YOU USE FOR YOUR AWFUL COSTUME GAMES!!"

"Right away!" Shouts Darrell back compliantly as I hang up the phone and take a deep sigh, checking my watch. There's no way for me to just bail out of this - not only would I be embarrassing myself in front of an _entire stadium full of people_ , but Professor Venomous would see me as a fool! And I just CAN'T have that be the image my business-partner-and-more sees of me.

"Whoa, this place is huge!" Comments Shannon as she comes through the door with the others.

"Are you gonna be in a race, Dad!?" Asks Darrell.

"Yes! Now quit your gawking! Ernesto, I need you to go fetch my car and pull it around and into the starting lines! Follow the instructions of those fancily-dressed men."

He simply nods before speeding off, and I then turn to my other three henchmen. "You three shall be a part of my _pit crew_. It means if my car breaks down, you three need to fix it before I can say _I'LL THROW YOU IN THE FURNACE!!_ " I clear my throat. "Now, do you have the uniform I asked for?"

Darrell nods, quick and nervous, before handing me an old spandex green and black race car driving uniform.

"Perfect. Now go prep the car while I prepare - I want everything refilled and restocked!!" They then leave me with a compliant 'Yes, daddy!'

Once alone, I change into my old racing uniform and reminice about the old days. When I was just a lad, I used to race weekly against all the other villanous teens on the block through the danger zone. Of course, it was a lot _more_ dangerous back then; before those pesky heroes started trying to clear it out!! And we were fine- nobody died! ... Except that one time. Well, Randall _was_ kind of a jerk anyway.

But nevermind that! What _really_ matters is that it seems I've gotten puffy in my later years. I don't seem to remember this uniform being so tight and form-fitting. It's squeezing and pinching _everything!!!_ But whatever. I'm not going to be the only bloke wearing a suit or not wearing a proper uniform - so this'll have to do.

I decide to kill time by exiting out onto the race track to supervise my robotic henchmen as they tweak my vehicle, making sure everything is at top performance. I won't lie, I definitely spotted Professor Venomous in the crowd while doing so, which isn't hard to do with a cybernetic eye, and _may have_ been trying to show off. I couldnt quite read his emotions, though his eyes seemed full of... _intrigue_ as he watched.

Eventually, the participants are in their cars with their pit crew in their places, waiting for the race to begin. I take a deep breath, revving my engine a couple times and thinking over on the race before. Would it be the same? Probably _not,_ it is the Danger Zone after all. Nothing about it is consistent!

Whatever. _Regardless,_ my plan is, of course, to blast out the rest of the competition as soon as possible. Once the trash is taken out, I'll use a pit stop to restock my weapons and worry about the lackys from there.

A dastardly woman dressed in all black and leather stands on a pedastal a ways away from the track, cameras trained on her. She announces that it's time for the race to begin, before counting down.

"Five!" Breathe in.

"Four!" Breathe out.

"Three!" Breathe in.

"Two!" Breathe out.

She then fires a gun into the sky, and the cars all take off. Of course I'm stuck in the thick of the crowd, but that's soon to be dispersed once I fire off my trained weapons on each driver. It appears I'm not the only one with this idea, though, and soon enough we're all caught up in a frenzy of fire.

My vehicle comes equipped with an automatic _attack and danger_ radar and will automatically defend with the proper ammo whilst I focus on driving, which contributes to the majority of my survival during the first onslaught. Of course, due to my position on the track the left side of my vehicle is heavily bombarded, draining me of ammo and leaving me vulnerable. I end up taking a pretty heavy hit before swerving to position myself on the far right side of the track, firing off the last of my ammo at the remaining opponents before shouting at my robotic children for a pit stop.

"How many are left?" I shout at Ernesto as the rest of my henchmen re-stock and patch up my ride.

"Well, you managed to take out Nycto and Terror Titan. Bruiser, The Flamimg Lava and Doctor Mysterio also fell out during the onslaught. That leaves Hex Furry, Black Widow, Darkstorm, and Billiam Milliam. 5 racers including you."

"Alright alright alright!!" I lament. "I didn't ask for a whole damn essay! Just give me the numbers next time."

The kids finish fixing the car the second I finish my conversation with Ernesto, and I screech off in an instant. I manage to catch up to Hex Furry, Darkstorm, and Black Widow. Billiam Milliam is ahead, since he's the only one who didn't take a pit stop. Idiot! That just leaves him more vulnerable to the rest of us.

It appears the other racers are right in line with my thoughts as we all fire at Billiam. For some reason, though, Billiam's defenses are able to fend off every single attack, leaving his vehicle unscathed. I should've known the rich prick would have top-notch artilery.

Whatever. He doesn't have a state-of-the-art Boxmore made missile like I do!! I quickly fire it off, and Billiam Milliam's car is engulfed in a cloud of smoke! There's no WAY he's coming out of that mess!!

With him out of the way, I divert my attention to Hex Furry, who seems to be powering up some type of large cannon at the front of her vehicle. Intimidating, and yet-

A harpoon suddenly wizzes past me, impaling itself through my windsheild and inches away from my head. Alarmed, I frantically search the track for who fired it, when my eyes land on _Billiam Milliam's vehicle emerging from the cloud of smoke unharmed!!_ And what's that? Out of the corner of my eye I seem to catch a light flicker of blue emitting from Billiam's ride- a force field!? But that's CHEATING!!

The dirty bastard! I quickly put my car in reverse, resisting Billiam's harpoon, which is pulling me straight towards a set of hungry metal teeth jutting out from the back of his car. I then grab onto the harpoon and start trying to forcefully yank it out of the seat, using nothing but my brute strength. It barely seems to budge, and I soon give that up, wheezing with the effort.

I quickly analyze my surroundings. Hex Furry and Darkstorm seem to be caught up in a battle of their own, while Black Widow takes the opportunity to speed ahead. Of course, now that she's in the lead, Billiam's attention and the rest of his artilery turns to her.

The only way for me to break free from this would be to cut the line tethering the harpoon, since Billiam's a _dirty cheater using a forcefield._ I then slam my fist on a button, triggering the Boxcar to reveal a mechanical arm with a giant pair of scissors, which are then trained to start cutting away at the wire.

Perfect. The second I'm free, I speed up so that I'm neck-and-neck with Billiam. In the time it took me to free myself, he'd bombed Black Widow to smitherins and Hex Furry was taken out by Darkstorm, who is now behind since he took a pit-stop.

This means I'm in the final three! But don't get too excited yet, Boxman. You still have to win this thing. I put the Boxcar into auto-pilot and open the roof, making my way to the edge of the car and right up against Billiam.

"Are you crazy!?" He shouts, finger lingering over the buttons to his artilery.

I let out a cackle. "Obviously!" Before jumping across and into Billiam's cockpit.

Before he has a chance to open fire, I punch him and push him aside. "You always were such a fragile pretty boy, weren't you, Billy?"

"Oh? Then what does that make Vinny?"

 _Who?_ Oh! Professor Venomous! "That's different!" I shout, the two of us wrestling as I attempt to deactivate his forcefield. "He's much classier, smarter, and _handsomer_ than you could ever hope to be!"

He laughs. "Oh don't be so sure of that, Boxy. I know things about him that you _don't_. " Ignoring him, I rip open the panel to his force field and yank out the wiring.

"NO!" He shouts, and I cackle as I clamber back into my Boxcar.

Now, if he wanted to get that fixed he'd have to take a pit stop, which would put him behind. And with his vehicle exposed, I open fire on all fronts. He does the same, and our weaponry essentially clashes mid-air, creating an explosion that hits the both of us.

Both of our cars are drained of artilery and damaged, yet neither of us plan to make a pit stop. No matter. I press a button and a mechanical arm weilding a giant hammar shoots out the front of my Boxcar. Hah. And he said I was too _old-school_. Of course, the hammer begins pounding away at Billiam and he pulls back in order to get out of range, leaving me in first place.

I chuckle to myself. Victory is mine! In fact, I can even see the entrance back into the stadium and the finish line in the distance.

Suddenly, a giant tentacle-arm slams down on the track right in front of my vehicle as I see Darkstorm approaching rapidly. I have a split-second to make a decision, slamming my fist down on the "eject" button right when my vehicle collides with the monster. I sail through the sky in nothing but the cockpit, technically neck-and-neck with Darkstorm as I slide across the finish line.

I pant heavily, opening the car door and stumbling out as the crowd murmors in confusion. Darkstorm parks and quickly storms out of his car. Everyone is paying rapt attention to the big screen as they play back and slow down an instant replay.

I hold my breath, tense as I watch. The little flag with the "BM" label on the tip of what once was my Boxcar was inches ahead of Darkstorm's vehicle, putting me in first place.

The entire crowd erupts in booing, and all the while I laugh wildly, shaking my ass and making fart noises at them. "SUCK ON THIS, PRICKS! AHAHAHAHA!!"

After that wild evening, Professor Venomous drives me to his place. As it turns out, not a single person in the audience had betted on me aside from dear old Vinny. On the one hand, surprising and more than a little bit anxiety-inducing, and on the other hand, it's clear he sees me as more than just a joke villain and was a very romantic gesture.

We walk back to his lab together after he parks, arm-in-arm, and once inside he turns on a single light in the kitchen and smiles.

He presses his arms against my shoulders and leans down to whisper in my ear. "I want you to do to me what you did to that track today."

"Uh..." I pause in confusion. "Destroy you?"

He lets out a breathy chuckle. "Close. You fucked it over~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SNHFDGAANCZNFVZNVD IM SO FOCKING SORRY ABT THAT ENDING
> 
> its dirty lol (speaking of dirty I'm probs gonna write a fic abt what happened after that ending ;);) but ill post it as a seperate fic) heres the dirty ending btw: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14194245


	4. Intro to Angst: Radmond edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radicles sneaks Raymond into a high school football game - against better judgement.

" _Excellent_ form, Radicles!" Shouts Raymond sarcastically, catching my fist in his hand as he shoves me back.

It's been a few weeks since we first hung out. Of course, Boxmore sent over Raymond today to try and wreak havoc on the plaza, yet fighting for us is a little different now. Instead of just the usual aggressive quips and punches, now it's more like sparring with playful jabs thrown in between.

"I know!" I shout back, taking his sarcasm as a compliment. I then grab K.O. and launch him at Raymond so he can throw down a whopping punch.

Raymond falters, sputtering backwards and landing on his butt. Enid then leaps into the air, charging up a fiery kick, when Raymond shoots her with a laser blast. The battle continues like this for a few more minutes, Raymond fighting almost as good as he did the first time we met (is he perhaps... showing off?) Only to inevitably get his butt beat by the power of friendship or whatever.

Despite my quite worn out, wheezing, sweaty demeanor, I shoot Raymond a text. _"Hey, at least you put in your best effort! But NO ONE can beat out these babies"_ I then take a picture of my muscles, flexing, and send it to him. It's not gay, it's just 'cause my muscles look really good in this lighting and taking pictures of them right after a workout is when they look the BEST.

Enid and I let K.O. clean up the robot scraps (it's not taking advantage of him if he _enjoys_ cleaning up after every fight, right?) and the two of us head inside. Once there, Enid almost immediately gives me a trademark "I've got my eye on you" look.

"Raymond was really tough today, wasn't he?"

"I mean, I guess if you're weak he was."

"Shut up I'm serious. More like the first time we fought. Also you asked me a couple days ago about what would happen if you hung out with a villain at Boxmore, and you two were lowkey flirting the whole fight-" Flirting? The mention of that immediately causes me to tense up and get defensive. "-so basically what I'm asking is; have you been hanging out with Raymond?"

"Okay first of all; that wasn't flirting and secondly so what if I am? You have no proof it's not like you can tell Mr. Gar on me."

"Whoa dude, chill!" Replies Enid. "No need to get so touchy, I was just curious. I'm not gonna get you in trouble for hanging out with a villain; that's stupid. Maybe you should take off your binder for a bit? That was a pretty intense battle and don't think I didn't notice your chest heaving."

I roll my eyes, trying to will my breathe into regulating. "Yeah, maybe. If dysphoria wasn't such a bitch."

"Language!" Scolds Enid.

"K.O.'s outside and no one else is in the store." I object, before tucking back into the employee work room to take my binder off and allow my chest to breathe for a while.

Why can't two men talk and it not be considered _flirting?_ That was just friendly banter! I mean, it's not like I have anything against gay people, it's just that _I'm_ not gay. I know Enid is, and that's super cool, but why does she have to try and make me gay too?

Whatever. I decide not to dwell on it too much before getting back to work.

"Dude, you _know_ I hang out with some villain kids at school, right?" Asks Enid. "Seriously. I don't have a problem with it. What's got you so... Bothered about this?"

"I'm not _bothered_ about it, I just don't want a bunch of people to know. I mean, we're sworn _rivals_ , and although Mr. Gar probably wouldn't fire me, Boxman would definitely do... Something to him." I cringe just thinking about it.

"Okay, fair enough. Just tell him to ease up out there a little, I have to write a college thesis tonight and I don't wanna be all sore and achy."

I laugh. "Oh really? Where are you applying?"

"Well, my first choice was P.O.I.N.T. academy, but that's clearly not gonna work out. So instead I'm applying to Heroes United. Where are you thinking of going?"

I let out an awkward noise and rub the back of my neck. "I... Honestly have no idea. Maybe I'll apply to Heroes United too. Do you think I'd get accepted?"

"Well, yeah. Your a good student who's involved in some extra circulars and you work for a level 11 hero. The only thing I'd work on is bumping your level up to 3, they prefer heroes 3 and above. But, Rad, _why_ do you want to apply there? Don't just apply cause I'm applying."

I laugh. "You wish. I dunno, I just... Don't really know what kind of college I'd wanna go to. I mean, I wanna be a hero, _obviously_ , so I'd wanna go to a college that specializes in that kind of thing. Heroes United is close, so I could still work at Gar's, and I'd get to go with a friend rather than just charging in alone."

"You know, Rad, if you're still kind of... Unsure, it's okay to take a gap year. At the very least I think you should go to their website and check it out. They have a campus tour next week; You should go with me. Figure out if it's really for you."

K.O. suddenly comes running back through the doors triumphantly, broom and dust pan in hand. "I'm finished cleaning!" He announces enthusiastically. "What should I do now?"

Enid shrugs. "I dunno, kid. Uh... Go help Rad restock."

"Okay!" he replies excitedly, before following me to the back. I let him get some of the smaller boxes and crates, while I handle the big stuff.

While I'm lifting crates, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket with a text from Raymond. And, of course, he's the kind of person to double text, so I feel my phone ping more than once a he breaks up his sentences into their each individual texts.

When I find a stopping point, I sigh heavily before pulling my phone out and checking the texts.

_"Wow as if."_

_"I was great out there today an u kno it."_

_"What's wrong? Did I beat ur butt too bad for u to reply??? >;)"_

_"Hellooooooo your being SO inconsiderate rn..."_

_"Pay attention to me."_

_"OMG RADICLES THERES AN EMERGENCY HAPPENING."_

_"Its called u not replying."_

I scroll through the texts with an annoyed look before replying. _"Your so fuckin needy dude chill lmao. I have _work_ to do, unlike you."_

He sends back a picture of himself, looking disgruntled. _"OH!!! My god. I do TOO have work! I'm busy lookin good B)"_

I let out a laugh before replying with, _"As if."_

"What's so funny, Rad? Who ya textin?" Asks K.O. out of nowhere, startling the bejeezus out of me.

"Whoa! Uhh, my mom. I was laughing at a... Dumb typo she made. Pshh!" I reply, trying to play it off casually.

"Oh, okay!" Replies K.O., bounding excitedly. "Well, the back room is finished being stocked. What should I do next?"

"Uhh, I dunno. Whatever you usually do when the store's not busy."

"Okay!" He says, running off to go do... Whatever it is K.O. does.

Once he's gone, I re-enter the store and pull my phone back out and text Raymond. _"Hey, are we still on for the game this friday?"_

_"Why not? It's always fun to see a bunch of teenage boys squabbling over a ball."_

_"Sweet. It's a-"_ 'Date' is the word that immediately comes to mind, but of course that... Doesn't make any sense. We're just friends! _"plan."_

 

The days seem to drag on _forever_ , even if Radicles and I have been texting on-and-off. I've never been to a highschool before. I've never really been anywhere except here, the plaza and the pet store. Also the danger zone, since we had to help Coach Boxdad race for his first date.

Honestly, befriending Radicles has been a sort of thrilling endeavor for me. Terrifying, yet also exhilerating. Having a secret relationship can be fun, even if the consequence of said relationship being found out could result in my demise. Hah, I can only how much worse it would be if we were actually lovers.

However, we are not, and I can't really tell if I'm sad about that or glad. These feelings are still new and a little terrifying, if I'm being honest. I honestly cannot tell wether Radicles desires me or not - perhaps he's going through a crises similar to my own.

"What's with the look? You goin' on a _date?_ " Asks Shannon, waltzing in my room with no prior warning.

I sigh as I adjust the fashionable headscarf I'm wearing in order to sheild my identity. "Maybe so. What business is it of yours?"

Shannon whistles. "It's not- I was just curious. You already snuck out on Monday - when daddy met with Professor Venomous. And now your sneakin out again? Seriously - what's up?"

"I'm... Investigating." I half-lie. "I've gained Radicles trust through a faux friendship and I'm using him to gain access to the plaza." I smirk. "That would impress father for sure!"

"What!? Why didn't _I_ think of that!? Whatever- I'll earn daddys love some other way... And better than you!" She shouts, before storming off and grumbling to herself.

Phew. That was close. If she noticed; then I gaurantee Ernesto has. But it's not like he's one to care all that much. And Darrell's far too oblivious - I should be safe so long as I keep _her_ off my back. After readying my disguise, I sneak out through the back and spot Radicles' van, parked on the side of the road.

I knock on the door, and he unlocks it for me to climb into the passengers seat.

"God, _finally_. How long does it take for you to get ready?" He complains, rolling his eyes at me as he starte the car.

"Hey, I also had to sneak past my siblings and father! It's not easy, yknow!"

"Hard to believe _you_ have a hard time keeping your mouth shut." He replies sarcastically as he drives us through the city.

I scoff in mock offense, before quickly becoming distracted with the architecture and lights of the hero's side of town.The architecture here is completely different from downtown - A lot of bright, pastel colors and buildings with lots of windows. None of them showcase deadly weaponry or gothic scenery, and with the lights all on in the night it's quite beautiful.

Rad laughs. "What? You never seen a building before?"

I blush before replying sincerely. "Well, none like these... I spend most of my time at Boxmore, after all."

Rad frowns a bit, biting his lip. "Man, he's got you guys really cooped up there, hasn't he?"

I get flustered and defensive, turning to him. "No, we have games and missions to keep us busy and entertained!! It's... Boxmore is _way_ cooler." I reply.

He rolls his eyes and snickers. "Whatever you say, bird-for-brains." Before I even have time to come up with a proper comeback, he pulls into the school stadium and parks. "We're here. You ever seen a football game before?"

" _Yes_ I've seen a football game, I play every sport known to mankind." I retort, a little bit fed up with Rad's obnoxious attitude.

He seems to pick up on my animosity, quickly blurting out as I step out of the car, "I didn't mean to piss you off, dude. Let's just... enjoy the game. I'll grab you a drink?"

I feel myself blushing intensely, glad that my back is to Radicles. Why is he being so fucking sweet all of a sudden? _Why is he like this?? Why am I crushing so hard??_ I clear my throat. "U-uh, yeah, thank- Haha, that'd be great." I say, flustered as all hell as we walk inside the stadium and Rad goes to get food and drinks while I find us seats.

I found us a spot higher up on the bleachers, away from the crowd (just in case anybody could spot us.) Once seated, Radicles soon joins me and starts snacking as he explains the teams.

"So our colors are yellow and red and our mascot is a chicken." He says, pointing towards the aforementioned mascot, who is currently playing with some kids.

I can't help but laugh. "So we're the _chickens?_ "

"Yeah, I know. It's kinda lame. But so far, we've been undefeated! Unfortunately, so have our rivals; the Skyline foxes. When we win, it's gonna be totally _epic_ "

I raise an eyebrow at him. "'When'?"

He laughs. "Yeah! I have faith in my team. As well as superstituous tendencies!" He says, gesturing to his t-shirt and hat both celebrating Lakewood High.

"Well I'm glad your confident." I reply with a laugh.

It's... Nice, sitting here with Rad like this. We're both sports fanatics, and the entire event we're out of our seats, wildly yelling and gesturing for our team to "GET THE BALL!!" "THROW IT!!" and other things. Halftime comes and goes, the band, colorgaurd and cheerleaders perform well, and soon enough it's back to the game.

4th quarter rolls around, and our teams are neck-and-neck. The scoreboard is tied 39 to 39, and Radicles and I are on the edge of our seats, hoping for Lakewood High to take the win.

Lakewood's quarterback intercepts and grabs the ball, booking it towards the goal, Radicles and I cheering wildly as he does. He makes it! And before I even have time to process much- Radicles wraps his arms around me in a crushing hug, lifting me up as he does before setting me back down.

I feel my circitry overcome with excitable and romantic emotions, causing me to shortwire for a second as my headscarf gets picked up by the wind and falls. Before I have time to react, I hear a student nearby exclaim, "Is that a boxmore bot!?" Much to the horror of myself and everyone else.

Everybody nearby backs away, muttering to one another, some trying to take photos as Rad grabs my hand and hurries me away and off the bleachers.

By the time we're safely in his car, we're both out of breath with nerves tingling through us. "I-I'll drive you home." He says, staring the car.

I make an uncomfortable noise. "Some kids were taking pictures. What if they post it and father sees? Oh, I'll be in the furnace for sure!"

"The _what!?_ " Askes Rad, seeming shocked and concerned, nearly running a red light before abruptly stopping.

"The furnace." I reply. "If we get really out of line, dad throws us in the furnace. I'd be _lucky_ if thats the least of my punishment."

"Dude, what the _fuck?_ That- that's really messed up. He melts you if you dont listen to what he says?"

"I'm a hivemind. We have more copies." I retort, being put on the defensive now that Radicles seems to be putting my father on the spot. "Besides, I wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for you taking me to some stupid highschool football game!"

"Hey, don't blame me for your dad's shitty abusive parenting! I asked you if you wanted to hang out, not throw you in a furnace!"

"My dad is _not a bad parent!_ don't you ever call him shitty again, or joke about the furnace!" I shout, feeling anger rise in my chest from the stress of the whole situation.

"Well _so-rry_ for speaking the truth." He retorts.

"Pull over!" I shout, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "I can get home my fucking self!"

"W- I'm not gonna just drop you off on the side of the road in the middle of the hero district! Who knows what could happen to you?"

"I don't care! I can get home myself! Pull over NOW, Radicles!" I exclaim, kicking at his gloveboxe as I feel the tears start to spill over, hiccuping.

He takes a deep breath, before pulling over on the shoulder of the road and looking at me. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Upset you, or make you cry. Can I just- take you home? Please?"

"I'm not _crying_ , I'm... Leaking." I reply through a sniffle. "Fine. Apology accepted. You may take me home."

The rest of the drive has a sort of uncomfortable vibe hanging in the air, one full of doubt, hurt feelings and... Unrequited love. I wish I could say those feelings left once he dropped me off, but instead my anxiety only grew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know jack shit abt sports and pulled alla this out my ass so feel free 2 correct me lmao


	5. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enid and Red are on datenight, when Enid sees a poster for a familiar competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short af sorry.

We hold hands, bellies full from a grease-filled dinner at a fast found chain, watching the stars together under a moonlit sky on top of Red's tank.

"Y'see those stars over there?" I ask, pointing. "It kinda looks like a butt."

She laughs. "That over there looks like Rad's van." She says, gesturing to a pile of garbage on the ground.

"That's just a bunch of trash.." I point out.

"What's the difference?"

I'm sent into a fit of laughter when Red leans over to kiss me, before saying. "You're really pretty when you laugh."

I feel the blush rising in my cheeks as I stutter. "O-oh! Thanks. You look really pretty when you tell amazing jokes."

She laughs. "That's pretty much all the time." And then, she catches something out the corner of her eye and slides off her tank to pick it up. "Yo, babe, check it out."

I follow suit, looking over her shoulder to see a flyer for a local competition.

"Winner is the best hero in Lakewood Plaza Turbo..." Red laughs. "How corny. Hey babe, wanna join? See whos the best hero in the plaza?"

I feel anxiety spark through me as I pull away. "What? No. Why would you even want to do that?"

She goes wide-eyed. "Whoa, babe, it's chill. We don't have to if you don't wanna. I was just joking."

I sigh. "Sorry for, freaking out like that. It's just... You know Elodie, right?"

"Yeah, everyone who's anyone knows her. Why?"

"We were best friends growing up until we entered a competition for P.O.I.N.T. prep. Turns out she was manipulating me to learn all my moves and beat me."

She narrows her eyes. "That's crazy! And crazy stupid to get rid of the coolest girl EVER as a best friend just for some pretentious competiton. She sounds like a real ass, and I'd never do that to you. Promise."

I smile at her, "Okay."


	6. Intro to Angst: Voxman edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxman finds that Professor Venomous keeps a lot of secrets.

After a long, productive day at Boxmore, getting ahead in production and shipments as well as wreaking havoc on the plaza, I decide to stop by Venomous's place for the evening and deliver a gift, as well as my own presence.

It's a long road to P.V.'s house; as his lab is relatively isolated, back in the woods on the edge of a cliff to the ocean, that overlooks P.O.I.N.T headquarters in the distance. Once I arrive, I take another look in the mirror before strolling up to his house with a bottle of fine wine and letting myself in. We'd each lent each other our spare keys a while back, as a symbol of how well our relationship is currently going!

I open my mouth to announce my presence, when I hear a voice that fills me with hatred echoe out from somewhere upstairs, "...And how do you suppose we go about doing that, darling?" Asks Billiam Milliam.

"I don't know, I'm supposed to be under _your protection_ , aren't I? Figure it out!" Replies Venomous.

"Hey, don't you get that tone with me. Our team is doing the best we can to track him down, but he's a crafty fellow. Gosh, you sure know how to pick 'em, don't you Ven?" Venomous makes a noise of frustration, before Billiam cuts him off. "Speaking of which, are you _serious_ about having Boxman as a romantic partner?" He laughs. "That bloak is so loud and foolish; he's likely to get you found out with a slip of the tongue!"

"Our relationship is none of your business; and for the record there will be no slip of the tongue from him given my level of _privacy_ regarding this matter. I assume you'll hold up your end of the deal, now, won't you?"

"Oh of course I will. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Venomous huffs. "Meeting ajorned."

I hear Billiam stand to leave, and decide to quietly abscond out the front door and wait for him.

What the _hell_ did I just listen into? I huff, trying to take a few deep breaths as I process this new... Information. It seems the Professor and Billiam have some kind of deal. That the Professor is paying Billiam to be discreet about information regarding a questionable character, as well as protecting him from said person. Well, I certainly _hope_ thats all it is.

Once he's outside, I spring from the bushes, causing him to startle as I accuse, "What were you doing in a meeting with Professor Venomous!?"

"Oh, so you heard us talking, then? I mean there's no way you could've found out about it otherwise. We try to keep things very _discreet_. " He says, a sinister smile on his face as I grow beet red with anger."Well, it's no matter. I'm under contract not to discuss a single thing about it to outside parties. Guess you'll have to with your little boyfriend, then, won't you?" He then snaps his fingers, summoning his chrome gaurds to escort him away like some kind of prince.

I growl at him, before kicking at the grass and huffing. Professor Venomous is a rather private man, and I respect that, but I'm also worried (and albiet a little curious) about this whole... Situation. It's no secret that most villains come to be villains through either a tragic backstory, or being born into a villanous family. I'm starting to think that the Professor is the forner.

Not that there's anything wrong with that! I mean, my cybernetic eye and chicken arm certainly arent _organic,_ and I'd describe myself as a... Relatively unorthodox villain. I'm sure Professor Venomous sees his past as a sign of weakness, but I prefer to look at them as tales of courage! Hardships we overcame to be the people we are now.

Regardless, it wouldn't be polite of me to snoop. It's still early in the relationship and the Professor has every right to keep his past a secret. Not to mention, I don't have much information to go off of anyway, and I know next to nothing about Venomous's origins.

I take a deep breath. Its best to just try and forget it for now and enjoy the evening. So, I do just that, hurrying back inside and clearing my throat.

"Professor?" I call throughout the house, and I hear a loud clack of boots from upstairs before they turn into a quiet pitter-patter as he taps down the stairs.

"Boxman? O-oh, I wasn't expecting you! What's the occassion?"

I shrug. "No ocassion! Just felt like dropping by and paying my favorite business associate a visit~" I say, before taking his hand and kissing it.

He blushes, then smiles a warm smile and laughs a genuine, nervous laughter that makes my chest swarm with butterflies. "Oh, thank you. I'll take your coat, then." 

I set the bottle aside as he takes my coat and hangs it on a rack by the door, before picking up the bottle and eyeing it over. "Excellent taste you have, Boxman. I didn't know you drank Chataeu."

"I don't very often; I prefer brandy. But I figured you'd enjoy it." I say with an easy smile.

"Right you are. I'll set the table." He says, turning to enter the kitchen before I feel a sharp pain in my side and yelp, causing him to turn back.

Our eyes fall on a 2 foot tall green _rat_ , holding a knife in her hand as she glares up at me. Once she notices the Professor looking at her, though, she quickly tucks the knife behind her back and whistles innocently.

"Fink; behave." He says. "Boxman is our _guest_. "

She sighs frustratedly before pointing the knife in my direction. "Well why'd ya have ta go an date this _loser!?_ " She shouts, before bounding up the stairs and slamming the door to her room.

The Professor sighs, before giving me an apologetic look. "Sorry about that. As you can tell she's having trouble adjusting to our new.... Relationship."

"I can see that." I say flatly, muttering about the little pest as I follow Venomous to the kitchen to help him set up the table.

Over dinner, we discuss our latest projects in villainy. "With your nice little bio-chip, I'm going to create a robot so powerful that not only will it take out the plaza, it's also going to take out P.O.I.N.T. HQ!"

"My, wouldn't that be a feat." He replies. "And what's the name of said robot?"

"Boxman Jr.!"

He laughs. "A little derivitive, don't you think?"

"Oh, perhaps. It'll be my first robotic child to take my name, after all. All my other children _fail me_ far too often to earn that privilege."

Professor Venomous winces a bit, he's never really liked the way I talk about my kids, before he clears his throat and raises his glass. "Well, regardless, I'm sure Boxman Jr. will have no issues in raising hell for the plaza."

The two of us share a drink, before I ask. "What about you? Any secret pronects underway?"

He smiles mischeviously. "I'm glad you asked. Actually, I've been trying to bio-engineer a type of shape-shifting monster. One that starts off as a mouse and can slip through security undetected, then transforms into a giant monstrosity to wreak havoc on all my enemies."

My eyes light up as I hear his evil plan. "Ooh! How sinister~ And how's that coming along?"

He sighs exasperatedly. "Unfortunately, it's been rather difficult coming across the whole shape-shifting gene; especially since my bio-reactor hasn't been properly functioning."

"Oh? Well, I'm sure I could get that up and running for you. I'll take a look at it after dinner!"

And sure enough, that's exactly what I do. Although, I can't help but get Professor Venomous and Billiam Milliam's little meeting out of my head whilst I work on the bio-reactor. What does _he_ have that I _don't?_ If it's protection he's looking for, then, well, I could provide that with my robots and much more! And if it's about the information, keeping Billiam quiet, I'm sure I could invent something to wipe his memory! Perhaps it's something... Deeper than that. I mean, clearly the two have some sort of history together, why would Billiam have known otherwise?

Whatever it is, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. The Professor and I are very interested and involved with one another and I doubt he's the type to cheat. I'm probably just... Panicking over nothing. I sigh, almost finished when the Professor walks in holding two cups of tea, handing one to me.

He's changed, now wearing a long, elegant nightgown as he sits beside me. "It's getting pretty late. Would you like to stay the night? I've already sent Fink off to bed."

"Of course. How very generous of you." I reply, sipping at my tea as I gaze into his tired eyes and observe his relaxed demeanor. This wouldn't be the first time I've spent the night at his place; nor he at mine. After all, our first date ended fairly _well_ , if you catch my drift. "I'm almost finished up here. You can head on up to bed if you like, you seem tired."

He laughs light-heartedly, before replying with, "It's fine. I don't believe I'd be able to fall asleep, anyway." He seems to catch himself last-second, catch himself revealing a small, personal thing about himself and I jump at the opportunity to know him more intimately before he can it back.

"Oh? Why's that?" I ask, and he kind of flutters, before pausing, searching for a proper reponse.

"...Stress." He replies, and it's vague, sure, but it's truthful. 

"Mmm." I mutter, deciding not to pry any further. The Professor's trust is gained slowly, with rare little opportunties scattered throughout casual conversation. He's like a cat, how they can be distant and perhaps even hostile at first, but the more you get to know them and spend time with them the longer they'll let you pet.

I tweak one last wire, finishing up the bio-reactor and putting the frame back on. I stand, then offering my hand to Venomous, and once I pull him off the ground I decide to reward his show of intimacy by cupping his face in my hands and giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Come on. I have a feeling a world-famous Boxmore massage will help you fall asleep." I say with a grin, taking his hand as we walk up the stairs together.

I can practically hear his heart skip a beat when he squeezes my hand. He's honestly like a school girl with a first crush sometimes, blushing so intensely at the little moments like this that I worry he might faint.

His room is minimalist, as most things in his house are, but it's still very elegant and gothic. There's a lot of purple and black in the room, as well as a large window to the left of his bed overlooking the ocean. Once we settle in bed together, I spoon him and begin massaging his back, working out any knots or stray kinks I come across as I pepper kisses against the back of his neck.

I suppose his stress fades pretty fast, he doesn't even last a minute when he's out like a light, and I smile to myself as I think about how perfect he is.

I wake up, slowly, and I can't even remember what I was dreaming about as I take in my surroundings. It's still dark out, and the Professor is no longer sleeping by my side. I sit up, rubbing my eye before glancing over at the clock beside me. It's 4 am, what on earth is Venomous doing awake?

I look over toward the door, which is slightly ajar, and stand, leaving to go investigate. I make my way over to the top of the staircase, glancing down to see the glow from a laptop illuminating the Professor's face.

He looks exhausted, and he's trembling as he skims over an article. I use my cybernetic eye to zoom i and enhance, then feel my heart stop and my breath hitch when I read the name "Black Ice." My heartbeat starts racing as I skim over the article as well. Apperently, he's been on the run for 2 weeks now and authorities have yet to catch up to him.

My mind starts racing with possibilities. Is this the guy that the Professor has ties to!? That he needs protection from!? Well, no wonder he's shaking and can't sleep! This guy is fucking crazy! About 20 years ago, before a small team managed to capture and arrest him, he blew up an entire small HQ, resulting in the death of at least 20 pro heroes. He's the one that initially stirred up controversy in the heroes-vs-villains entertainment business. He's the reason many villains, if caught alone on the hero side of town, endure rigorous muggings and beatings from punk "heroes" claiming justice.

Good _lord_ , no wonder Venomous didn't want me to know. I freeze, wracked with the sudden realization that perhaps Venomous was an accomplice in the infamous Black Ice Bombing. My brain floods itself with thoughts, each overlapping each other, and I hardly even notice that I'm walking down the stairs. Is he paying Billiam to keep it a secret that he was an accomplice!? Is he paying for protection from Black Ice, or from the _police!?_ I hardly know what to beleive anymore!

I stand behind the couch, and Ven is so obsorbed in the article that he hasn't even noticed me yet. I tap his shoulder and he gasps in fright, startling as he turns to see me before quickly closing his laptop. "Oh! Boxman, I didn't see you there."

"Venomous, I want the truth. No more lies, or secrecy, or whatever _bullshit_. I just need to know what's going on." I start, before climbing over the couch to sit beside him. He seems alarmed at first, but I just keep on talking. "Earlier today I heard you talking to Billiam about needing protection or whatever and him not telling me anything. And when he left he told me you two have a contract. And just now, I come downstairs and seeing you looking at articles about Black Ice, most dangerous villain on the fucking planet. I can't- I can't... Keep _wondering_ and _freaking out_ about what's going on. Just- just tell me. Please? Were you an accomplice in the Black Ice Bombing?"

"N-no!" He says, almost shouting, then remembering that Fink's asleep before he continues. "No, I- I left him before that." He says, his voice cracking as he raises a shaky hand to swipe at tears forming in his eyes.

He can't stop the waterworks from flowing, though, and soon enough he's sniffling and hiccuping as he desperately covers his face. I frown, feeling downright awful for making him cry. "I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accussed you of something like that."

"No, no it's okay. I understand." He says, and I slide towards him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a warm embrace as he continues. "I should've known better than to try an keep- s-secrets from you. You're way too fucking smart for that." He says, laughing a bit through his tears.

I shush him softly, rubbing soft little circles over his back as I wipe away his tears. "It was a long time ago." He begins, voice barely above a whisper. "In my late teens. The two of us were dating. We were a force to be reckon with, like the Joker and Harley of our small town. Only if in this version Joker still loved Harely, even if it was sick and twisted. I... Was attracted to his power. I'm still not quite sure what it was about me that attracted him. Regardless, he was... Awful. He saw me as a project to work on. An imperfect artpiece for him to chisel away at until the only qualities that remained were the ones he wanted." He snuggles up closer against my chest, wiping his tears away against my robe. "He... hurt me. Brutally. If I did something wrong he wouldn't feed me for days. He'd chain me up and break all my fingers and toes, one at a time. He clawed his way into my head and took rigorous hold of me. I couldn't even breathe without him knowing." He bites his lip, tears pricking back at his eyes.

"...It was my fault." He continues, voice once again cracking as he starts to sob softly. "I- I didn't help him do it, but I let him. I ran away the day before he did and I didn't even go to the fucking _police_. And I _knew_ , I knew he was gonna do it. Knew he was gonna kill-" He hiccups, unable to even finish his sentence as he cries into my chest. I do my best to shush him, wiping at his tears only to see more fall. "I-I deserve to be locked up, just like him."

" _No._ " I reply, giving his shoulders a firm squeeze. "No. You are nothing like him, okay? You didn't have any malicious intent. He manipulated you! He made you feel like he owned you. It's _not_ your fault." I sigh, kissing under his eyes. "Why didn't you tell be about this sooner?"

"...Didn't want the pity." He mumbles. "The pitiful looks, seeing me as _weak_."

"I don't think your weak, and I don't pity you. I admire you, so much, okay? Your a fucking survivor, a goddamn warrior. He put you through hell and you still came out on top. I can't say I'd have done the same in your situation." I say, and he smiles a bit as I push his hair out of his face and kiss his nose. "Okay? I love you."

He laughs a bit. "Okay. I love you too."

"Now c'mon. Let's go back to bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NoAH fEnCe BuT Im gAy And It GOt ReAlalY SApPy ThErE aT tHE bEDTIMe ScENe


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